Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Answer Any and Every Question

So lately I have been asked about many MANY wuestions about epilepsy seizures, or what I do or things such as that. So lets see what I have on my list. (If you have any other questions, just ask. No prob.)

-Homeschooling/Independent Study- My mom had figured since I tend to have my seizures at school and they always send me to the hospital, that I should stay away from there. Too much going on and such. I wish I was back. I never figured I was ever say it but I've realized that within 2 weeks =[

-Whats Causing it?- We actually don't know. Ha. At first we thought it was from 3 years ago when I ran into a tree. As funny as it sounds.. acutally it does sound funny. I'm laughing now! But back to the point, the doctor said it couldn't be caused by that because it would of started back 3 yrs. So unfortunately they don't know. They also thought that it was my heart. That I was fainting, then a seizure. Mom and I voted that one off ourselves because she check my pulse while I was having one and it was normal. So it is still a mystery...oooh!

-Is there anything your Taking?- I'm actually taking Lamectal. My first nurolagist (no clue how to spell it0 gave it to me. Withing 2 weeks, at frist at 25mg, I was put up to 400mg. WHOA! He said the side affects were a rash. Then I was nausiated, fatiuge, dizzyness, and Headaches. Also what it can cause is live and kidney failure. I think we should have known that before hand. Who's with me on that!?

-Is there a special diet or something involving food?- I can't have sugar or caffiene. =`(. I was sad to hear that because these are my candy eating years. But that is my "Special" diet. Ha I was figured that I was gonna lose ALLOT of weight so that perked me up. Ha ha.

-Why do you look so tired?- That is my fatuige talking. Ha. I'm always so tired and sleeping all the time at church, and its not from the talks..or is it? But yet the Church is a calm place to be so its nice. But at night, when your sooo tired that you can't sleep? Well thats my problem. It sucks big time. But hey? What can you do? I KNOW! Church haha I'm kidding.

-Does the weather cause your seizures at all?- I think that question started out from my mom. But I think it does. I tend to have Grandmal siezures when it gets really cold. I love the cold but not enough to have a seizure for it.

-Florescent Lights?- Well I know they cause most of them. I've hadmany at school, church, seminary. Mainly at church though. A 20 minute one.. 20 minutes! Thats rediculous! Yet its so funny now. I'll tell you that story at the end. But yes, those lights are not my favorite. They give me the worst headaches. Its a bummer when it happens. =[

-Are you getting support from your family? Friends? You know I support you..- My family are big supporters as well as my friends. They crack jokes about it and everything. Thats what I love the most. I hate it when everyone is so serious of it. Its not like I'm gonna die any time soon, though it could happen but I'm crossing my fingers X O.o X. But I also love it when friends are there. 1. For they know what to do and I can hang out with them. I dig that. 2. They are laughing with me and care for me afterwards. Still laughing ha.

-What calms you down? Does it help?- YES! I love going into my room just chillin' and listening to music. I have alot of playlist that I listen to. Its calming and I dig it.

-What do you do when your not working on your homework and such?- I'm either in my room chillin' or watching T.V. and/or on the computer. I'm starting to get really good on FFR (DDR but using your fingers).

-When do you think you have it the most?- I think mainly on the weekends because thats when I can go out with my friends and have a great time. "It takes allot of courage out of me to let you go." My mom said that before I went to UOP to support my Speech and Debate team. I had a seizure during it but HEY! I had fun. Met new people after it. It was cool. But you can't just stay at home all the time and get depressed. You got to take risks.

(This is my favorite one. Not like I bring it up or anything just the fact it feels good to say how I feel this way)

-You have such a good attitude about all of this, how can you handle this?- At first I didn't really know how serious it was. Probably still don't but you can't sit and wallow over something you can't help but have until its under control. Life is like A Dress Rehersal, Epilepsy is just another line forgotten. Everything is a learning expierience.

So about my 20 in. One. I laugh at it now because I woke up to Firefighters, and Paramedics all around me. One had an I.V. all prepared and I told him to get that thing away from me. It was funny. Thats what I remember the most.

So if you have any other questions just let me know.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Epileptic : We Shake Up Your World.

So today, I woke up really early. Not the best thing for me personal but apparently my mom likes it. =[. So We got all dress and ready to clean the church. Usually I go in with sweats and all funky, but we had a special occasion later. Well we got there, there was this Scout thing. I saw some old friends and parents, well not like they were my parents ha but some friends parent who are pretty fantastic. So we barely cleaned. Those rare little things we can do was bout the most excitement we had. Ha I don't know.
So later after some cleaning was done, we went to our friends house and had a little chat with them. I know this is out of no where but.. I GOT TO SEE HSM3 LAST NIGHT! And I didn't have a seizure. I am so proud of myself.
Anyways so we went to Trinity Park Way and waved signs for Prop 8. I had an awesome time. I had my music and sign. Bro. Moore was with me and cracking jokes saying "Aren't you glad you had a mommy and a daddy?!" It was great. I was dancing and laughing. Once and awhile we had very negative people show some disrespect. Though they versed their opinion which is fine, but they don't have to flip people off and such, they need yoga. I had a little quote I would say near the end of my day, "Its Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Steve." We had many people Pro Prop 8 which was nice.
It was about time for me to go in after about 2 hours outside in the sun and a little toasty. I got a Mormon tan. Yay!
But we had other things to do. I really wanted to go to UOP for a Speech and Debate tournament. My mom was really "brave" (as she put it) to let me go. I'm grateful that she did because I saw my teammates and got caught up on everything. My friend Jeremy, who is my absolute favorite speechies (we decided on that for each other) was really protective of me because I told my mom I was with him and he felt responsible of me. So we walked around with another teammate and everything. We went to see another teammate perform and everything. He had to see other friends of his and left me with the ladies of the team. I needed to go back to the "Layer" and chill because it was hot.
I went back there and I felt a seizure coming. I text Jeremy to come ASAP. I wake up to security and on the ground. Woohoo! Not.
I went into another. Waking up to Paramedics. "Whats your name? Do you know where you are? Did you know what who did?" Obviously I would know, ha, if I wake up to this, its obvious.
Later on after I was calm and relaxed Mom went to get the car (BTW Jeremy called my mo and got her over there and all that jazz). I have this friend that I met at a previous tournament and we have talked allot and gotten close. So he knew I was going to be there. I told him I had a seizure so if he wants to say goodbye, this would be a good time.
He came by and we talked about the most weirdest stuff. It was nice. No talk of the seizure except for a little. He told me he wouldn't want to see it. Don't blame him.
So it was time to leave and him and Jeremy practically carried me to the car. The team went with us. Pure love we have there Ha ha.
I slept when I got home and chilled. Sore to the bone. Odd for what I had because it was the a Breakthrough seizure.

Different Seizures I have:
-Absent seizure-I stare blankly out of nowhere. Its like I would be daydreaming but not. So now I have an excuse for doing that in class, if I ever go back. =[
-Breakthrough Seizure- I'm either on my side or flat back. I'm usually not stiff for my bottom half of my body, but my hands are clenched tight.
-Grandmal (I don't know how to spell it so don't trust me on that)- I'm all over the place, well not extremely but if you see one, you'll know it.

The one I had today was like a Breakthrough but my whole body was stiff as a board.
Jeremy and other people told me what I did.

I was in the chair, stiff as a board and Jeremy came and called my mom and she told me to get me on the ground. This girl named Tracy (Jeremy and her talked before, but it was full of drama till I came along ha ha). So they got me on the ground and I was apparently hard to get there. This guy came up and helped them.
I forgot what else has happened. But that's all I know.

But yeah that was my excitement. Now if anyone asks if I'm okay, I'll have something new to say thanks to my Uncle Mike =].

I sure scared allot of people today but it was more of an experience now. So I can hang out with them and they'll know what to do, yay!

I'll shake up your world for a couple of minutes but once I'm back, I'm as happy as a baby with candy. Just remember that even though I have this, it doesn't mean I'm a different person.

Peace and Love to you all. <3

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Weekends just Shake By!

So This past weekend, I was with my awesome friends. Like on friday, we went to a corn maze. As a group, we go every year. But these days, its getting smaller and smaller.

So we wanted a group discount. So we went around to people who didn't have the wristbands on and asked them to join our group. Apparently they thought we were crazy because all of them said that their group is coming soon.. what a coincident! So we gave up and gave in to buying our own tickets. I wanted the orange wristband because I could go into the Haunted House, which is practically the only reason I go. But they all said that I had to take the green. It was terrible. I felt so useless! Haha But it was fun. We walked Around in the corn maze. There were inside jokes made and major randomness.It was fun bringing up old times. And everything. Like my friends, Jeanette and Katlynn all got to hang out and have nothing stopping us. Some were party poopers. Some we Love-Dovey. But thats life. Its going to happen to everybody. Eveyone is going to talk about it. Life goes on.
So After the maze, Most of the group went into the Haunted House. Katlynn and I stayed out of it some of chioce and some of Force! Gr. But I had my friend Jeanette call me through out the whole H.H. and She thought it was too scary to tell me so she handed it to Heather. She would give me eery detail and everything, when to turn and everything. It was actually ammusing.

Once they came out, some were laughing, some were really sad. It was totally cool, except for the sad one. Heather said that IT was there and I didn't get it but then...BOO! I was running and screaming and went over to Hollee and just sat there while she held me. I HATE the movie IT. Its sooo scary! Yuck! But then I laughed at myself and said that I wanted a picture with it... Ha.

It was so much fun though. And as my mother suspected, as well as everyone else, I had a seizure. I started seeing these "red Dots" (view previous blog post) and they laid me down on the hay. And I woke up to this.

He didn't want to smile, but I asked him too. Anyway, He was a paramedic off duty. And even better. His family owns the corn maze! Gasp! It was pretty funny. But he told me that after I have one that I should bend my legs upwards for the blood flow would go to my head. Also to drink warm water instead of cold because it is like a swimmers dive... It could cause another seizure instantly. But yes. He was my hero that night.

That My Friday With My Friends.---

So That Was a HOOT!

No pictures of this even but I've got memories. So I was at my school for the snack bar supporting my Speech and Debate Team. I also needed credits but I was enjoying whatever I could. In the bar was My mom, Mrs. Bonaparte, and I. It was so much fun. We would be busy, then not, continuously. My team-mate Jeremy, would always come and chat when we are both free. Let me tell you. Jeremy has had past of duo partners. It seems that he can't be friends with any of them afterwards, so we both said that we wouldn't be eachothers partner. But we know we would because we are cool like that. Anyway. It was alot of fun.

I saw my old/new competiters. Like I got to talk to my friend John. He is really nice and funny so we automatically had no problem talking, he wouldn't go either, even when I was still working. Mom and ... well I'll just call her Katie,.. both said that he put out an effort to talk to me. I didn't believe it, now I do!

So yeah I started to not feel good, turning pale, and everything, It was very sad. So I went over to one fo the benches and slept on them for bout 30 min. I wasnted to se the HI's and so I freaked out when I saw the time. 'I SLEPT THROUGH IT!' is what I thought. so I rush over to the room. It was empty. So sad. So then I give up waiting and went back into the cafeteria and hung out with Jeremy. Previously, John was suppose to tell me when the HI round starts. I was very mad. haha So when I saw him "Why didn't you tell me" John: "It hasn't started yet."

Silly me. So I told him to text me and tell me what he placed because he thought he would be in last (Actually 6th out of 7).

But Later that Night was a hockey game.

Not just a normal hockey game.

THE "First Game of the Season" Hockey Game!

So We got there. It was fun. Tessa, Heather, Leah and I were already there and I had to help a friend of their, Jason, Get there. He gets lost so easily. I partially blame myself because I'm not that great of a direction-er. I dont. So I gave the phone to this guy who did.He eventually came and My goodness it was forever because I had to wait for him. He thought I was Heather apparently. SO not the first time to hear that one. But he came and I walked him up to our seats and he sat by me. He was quiet and I couldn't stand it. Whoever knows me, knows thats a problem.

So we just sat there, totally boring in my section, which is not cool by the way, and just sat there. Then my friend Tricia, her BF Jimmie, Jeanette, and her friend. Tricia brought me a boque of Red Roses bc she didn't go to the Corn Maze so she bribed me to forgive her. It worked! So We got to hang out and everything. It was alot of fun. We had to move sooo Many times. We all wanted to sit together and the place started to fill up. Making sacrifices was a huge thing that night.
So the rest of the group came. Hixsons, Jensens, Jensons, haha came. It got really busy. Hot. Loud. Dotty..OOPS! Good sign. So I got up and tried to get out of that long row of people. As soon as I got up, Tricia got up right with me. Nobody else came. No one. She took me as far as I could go.. which was coincedently behine the non-playing hockey players.
I had a Seizure. Oh LUCKY ME! I woke up with the paramedics, my mom, and IV in front of me and a oxygen mask on. I started laughing. It was funny.. to a point. I scared Tricia half-to-death! That was mean of me. :[ but I move on, got to.
So Eventually I moved and everything. I sit up to one of the hockey players looking at me. The they get me a wheelchair. Once I'm up, that one player, nudged 5 other players and nodded my way! How rude. I wanted m privacy. Just Kidding. It was fun. I waved to them. Told to them to watch the game. Gave them the "Peace" sign. It was really funny.
Eventually we went downstairs and when to the First Aid room. Practically where the paramedic chill. And we just sat there while mom was getting the Car. So The one paramedic that wasn't holding the IV was one that I already met prviously... at another incident.. with a seizure. Well we actually don't know what that was but he was there. But his name name is John and he said that I was his first medical emergancy he had there. I felt so honored! We told eachothers story to the other guy. We'll call him Mario.
So then John left to check on something and Mario and I just chilled in there talking about what I'm going to eat since I was sooo hungry. We decided Taco Bell.
I had an Awesome time. I even had fun with paramedics!
No Regrets here! Things happen for a Reason. :]

Great Idea...?

So I have thought out this great idea! I don't know how it will work, but I know it will.

You see, I want to make these shirts. Hand Made, Computer Made, Make-over-the-computer- order Made. And seell them.
Its not going to be ordinary shirts like "Hi Mom!" or something. There is a a purpose. They will be "Awareness" shirts. Like Breast Cancer, Epilepsy, all Cancers and Diseases. And the "Support the Troops". The logo would be "Red Dots" bc I have no clue! haha I Actually think I thought of that after my EEG. I kept seeing red spots and ever since then when I'm about to have a seirzure, I see red dots so I'm going for that.
Afterward making and selling, I want to donate most of the money to their foundations and the rest of the money to buy and make more shirts.
It will work somehow, I know it.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


So recently (wednesday), I went to a heart doctor. I was pretty much tired of these doctor visits due-to-the-fact that thats practically all I've been doing. But anyway, Mom and I got in there and she did the paper while I start the Mimzy movie. So many elderly people came in and we ended up to be the last ones in. I was happy because I got to see the begining of Mimzy.

We got in there and we got a nurse who was really kind and had a sense of humor which is nice. She told us that she'll be doing another EKG on me. It was actually pretty funny because She had to check over and over on the clamps and stickers because it would show on the computer that I was dead. Ha, so she went into the other room to get a new machine and to explain it to one of the other nurses. Once she left mom asked if I had my cellphone on me, hehe, that was the cause of it all. It was really funny because she did all that work for just a cellphone.

So It ended up being great and the doctor came in within 10 to 15 minutes. He was really good. Made us laugh and feel comfy. He explained how it could be fainting. He checked my heart and I had a weird heart-beat or something. He set us an appointment for an ECO and possibly a tilt table like a said in the last post.

So this whole week, I've been either on the computer, trying to eat (smells and sight of some food make me sick), or watching TV. I know I should be doing homework but my mind is just out of this world.

And to just let my anger out:
Even though I don't get to go to Young Womens or Sunday school, doesn't mean that I'm out for the rest of my days. I'm still in young womens. I still have a calling, unless they forgot to tell me that too! But they shouldn't forget the ones who can't go.

Bumming isn't going to help, but it sure makes you feel good down on paper and out of your system. You should try it.

--Blessed To Be Alive--

I have been also really busy this weekend but I'll give you the low-down when I'm done with my homework.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Busy Times.

So yesturday I went to this "Meet 'n' Greet" with some of my bests and we had a great time. Like we sat RIGHT in front of them when they were practicing, got their autographs and such. Well while we were cracking up about our new upcoming Youtube show, that hasn't been created.

We watched this guy from who-knows-where, and he was our age and everything. We figured if he can do it, so can we so we're just waiting to get equipment and such. We're going to knock the socks off that kid. Haha

ANYWAY back to my point, when we were laughing, Hollee's (Best) dad came by and was getting his tickets. Our buddy Clint sells them anyway so we went into his office to get them (it's not as fun without us so we went for old memories). So Clint brought up that this coming November was going to be "Thunder Goes Pink" for Breast Cancer and "Thunder Goes Green" for Recycling and such, in March. So I thought to myself, well then Epilepsy should have a month. But I so recently found out that its november. I would seriously go to the games in all purple and pink for both sides.

So I then I decided that I'll wear ALL purple in January, yes I'll look funky but I can live with it. Then people would actually know that Epilepsy has its own awareness and ribbon!

So I came home and looked up some shirts. At first not for the Awareness but for my posse's show, but later thought that an Epilepsy one would be cooler.

I got on the web and searched for some shirts. Affordable and Cheap, obviously. I found some really nice ones but I'm not sure.

Sorry. I tried to put some up, but its not working. Sorry.
Anyway, I got a new nurologist and she was really nice. She explains everything so well and helps us get in and out then done. She had me in for an EEG the day after we met and gave our results that same day. Shes amazing.
But everything is working out. She couldn't find anything wrong so she's sending me to a heart doctor to see if they are fainting spells that I have seizures afterwards. It'll be this coming wednesday and I'll be on a tilt table. I'm SOO excited!

But everything is getting better. I've been seizure free for almost a week. I'm impressed with myself. Thanks for reading. I'll keep in touch!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Busy Days. Well Missed.

So to give you an update. My week was quite busy last week. The main one was my Moms Birthday. But others was babysitting a great friend of ours, child, Kiara. Little cutie she is. Going to a suprise partyfor a friend and going to Johns Incredibles.
So on my moms birthday, she had such a great attitude. I've got to admit, it got kinda annoying when she kept saying "Guess what? Its my birthday!", but I got over it. She was setting an example to my sis Heather. Her 18th birthday is coming up soon and she thinks that she'll have a terrible birthday because she won't go to her hockey game that she wanted to go to. I don't blame her, it was her favorite NFL team. But she doesn't need a bad attitude because of it, so mom was trying to prove a point which I think did a good job. We'll find out sooner or later huh? I keep you posted. I was proud of her though.
After the day was towards the end, we were invited to a friend of the families house for dinner. I was really nervous due to the fact that I told him that I just wanted to be friends. After everything thats been going on with my seizures, and my grandma in the care home, and my pop, who is scaring my family half to death! So he took it well, I'm just glad that weare still friends. I hate it when guys don't want to be friends with their former daters. But yet, we had a great time, took the kids for a walk while the mothers had their moments alone. I was fun though.
Time passed and food was eaten, that it was time to go. We said our goodbyes and was on our way. I asked my mom if we could stop by a friends house because it was her birthday aswell so mom said yes. I went inside and visited. Played on game of DDR (not too smart might I add) and was on my way. Long night but worth it.

The next day was a Ball! We babysat for our friend Katie. Her and her husband Ben, went to a Red Socks game. They won. And so while they were there, we were with Kiara. Busy day. We went to take Heather to school, so she played out on the grass there. She loves the outdoors. Went to In'n'Out and headed back to her house for a little nap.
Hours had passed and a suprised party came up. We left the house and picked up Heather.
We were only going to the party because it was my best friends boyfriend, an old friend, so it was for her. I can make that sacrifice. But Kiara was just dancing and such while a friend of mine and I was singing to karoke.
End of that day.

We woke up and Kiara was just laying there in her bed just looking up on the ceiling so we let her have her time. Katie and Ben came home and we had a great little chat.
Later that Night, I wasn't planning on going anywhere till I found out that a friend was going to Johns Incredibles with the Singles ward. It was so much fun. Chatted with friends, played DDR for a bit, more than a but, it was practically all I played (again, not a smooth move). I wanted to play my DDR mentor, Candy. So I challenged myself to do standard. We got really tired and sore so we failed ourselves to stop. I headed to the Jumprope game with my friend Matt and suddenly, Down I go.
Waking up to the fire department. What a joy. I was so not up to it. Obviously not. After you have a seizure you are FAR sore. especially your hands, at least mine. I'm just waiting to break a finger. They sent me on my way and while they had me on the gerny, we headed out the doors and these people were giving me an applause. I loved it to an extent but it made me feel better thats for sure.
I asked my paremedic if we could just leave since I'm fine. She said yes so we left. What a joy.
Epilepsy Awarenes --->

I asked my family not to tell my grandma about it. It would just make her disappointed at my mom for letting me out. When she's better, I'll let her know if I had one, but yeah, not now.

I'm grateful for the blessing I get. To be alive. Its surely a blessing.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Friendly Visitor.☺

So today, well more like tonight, I had some unexpected visiters. Some young women from another ward, came and visited me. I was so happy! Other than the fact that they brought me candy (even though I couldn't have any) it was nice. To even know that others care. I don't mind that they do or not but... Ok, its complicated.

Anyway, earlier that day, I invited one of my Bests, Jennifer, Over to stay the night for; 1. Her birthday and 2. We haven't spent much time together due to the fact that I haven't been able to go to seminary or much of church. Ha *I laugh at the face of near-death danger!*. So She came by, caught my family watching LIFE, a TV show. We all watched many shows. She also viewed many bicker-ings of my brother and I. Gotta Love Siblings!
But eventually we came into the room and just starting talking. Talked about my latest issues and hers. It was mainly going down memory lane. And I loved it! I remembered all the crushes we had, and feelings hurt. Lies told and True bests. Through it all.. but mainly the boys. Come on, we are still teens, theres no difference if your "Seizing the day!" or a teen who's life doesn't get shakin' up as much as our (Which is less exciting).
But it made me realize that those funny icons that I see ALOT on Facebook or Myspace, doesn't always seem wrong. Like there are some that say "Friends will be there for you when a boy makes you cry, But your bests will call him up at 2 a.m. and make chicken noises". If you know me, I would surely do that. I've realized that I've done that for many friends, not exactly that, but close to it.
You lose friends and yet you gain. In strange ways, you always have some people behind a tree, popping out, and you think that they haven't really been there for you but all along they've been with you through so much and you haven't even noticed. Its nice to know that your loved and that everyone is thinking of you, but its even better when you have someone with you through the whole "Walk in the Park".

You lose the ones you've lost, but yet you gain the ones who come back with milk!