Thursday, March 12, 2009

Red Dots. Warning!

Well To update everyone on life! I have had.. 15 seizures since mid-February. Its been a rough ride but Knowing its all from stress.. Kinda doesn't work for me. 

But I went to my doctor Feb 26 to see if there is anything else that was needed to be done and such. All she said is that I should see a psychiatrist to talk about everything like I did with Dr. McGourgeous. I see no point because I let everything out. I've been trying very hard to not keep it to myself. 

Like I talked to my friend Caleb [My best Friend/Ex] about the new relationship he is in.. He knows that I don't approve of it BC We are too young to get serious.

I don't know how hard I could stress on that. I've learned from it and noticed that, Yes. You do learn things about that one person. Or that he may have something that you wouldn't or would want in your future spouse, but you could do that from dating as well.. 

Anyway, But I confronted it and feel better from it rather than keeping it in. I encourage many to do so.. Let your feelings out! Don't keep it to yourself.. Let it out..Or do yoga =]

But this is just as a teenage girl. Teenage girl with feelings. 
I was asked to Prom! Whoop! Well it was more as I-was-asked-last-year-but-forgot-then-remembered. Pretty awesome I might add. So that's the latest news.

Oh Wait. OK so this is just free willing and something to put out there.
So On Saturday I had to work at the speech and debate tournament for my school. It was fun, but being tired kinda makes it a drag, you know? But I said 'Hi' to all my teammates and to those who I've become friends with for the past 2 years. And once it was time to start working, I was there. 
Again, tiredness sucks and for me it does extremely because for some reason it shakes out of me. So I see the Red Dots and I went and got my friend John and we went into this area where no one goes. Its like a dead zone. And once I was got myself together, John was pale white! All Honesty, He warned me that it would be hard for him to see me go through it. I've never seen one but I think I'm manly enough to handle it =]

So we got back in there and I didn't want the Lady (Cory) to know. She would of had me stop working and sleep but I couldn't. Its a curse. So I continue working till I had to sit. Its hard to pretend you hadn't had one. [*side note* When I came home from Stanford, I had 'secret seizures' which I know was stupid but if you think about it, That's what I'll have to do when I'm older if I'm still working with these pesters.]

So I went outside and tried to sleep. SO didn't work BC later my friend Doug and Bro. Hanson came out and checkup on me.. So Sleeping mission was aborted.

Eventually I was tired and moody that I needed to go home before I hurt or go all black girl on someone. Mom and Heather came and got me and I lost my voice! Mom probably thought it was a miracle.

Later though, Mom wanted me to go to the Hockey Game BC I hadn't gone in about 3 weeks. Apparently her co-workers and bosses missed all the excitement I gave them.. They should watch T.V. That's all I'm saying.

But Anyway, I was talking to Heather and we were walking around outside and there was this guy there who walked past us and I whispered to Heather "If I ever talk to him, I am going to name him Chico". Later on Mom introduced us and He hung around Heather and I till we were inside the arena. So remember Chico. 

I went up to my little area that I always sit in and watched the opening and everything. OMG Not even 5 minutes into the game, I can't feel my legs. I'm like "Oh Fetch. (and yes, I say fetch)". So I call Katie (Awesome Boss) and I'm telling her that I need help. [its hard to get to the ground safely] and I call Heather. So Katie comes and practically drops me on the ground. She might not have, but it felt like it.

So I wake up to some gorgeous faces. This time, the arena got some cuties for EMTs haha. They helped me up and checked my blood sugar. 68. My blood Sugar was 68. I just ate! It was far too low and they wanted me to eat this glucose goopy stuff. OMH It was disgusting. Not even joking. They asked if I wanted it through the needle and I was all for it. That's how bad it was. Finally someone said give her candy. I said that before hand.

So we went into the first aid room and got to talk to them and such like They are both married. One (Philippe)had a child out of wed lock then later married that woman and then divorced. Married again and much happier. The other guy (Brian) was a newly wed to his high school sweetheart.. How cute!!
Later I was much better and decided to go back in the arena and mom stayed with me. Here comes Chico seeing how I was but he didn't know of my seizure.. Mom told him.

Time passed and mom and I decided to take back the wheel chair I was in. I didn't want to wait for the elevator after dropping the chair off so I went up the stairs.

Ha ha I will not forget their faces. Philippe was not happy I was walking around. He was like What are you doing? And Mom said that I wanted to walk. Brian was teasing me BC I was getting trouble. Haha. 

I sat in a near by chair by some friends that we made by Heather. Patrick is a boy who is Mentally ill and also epileptic. Very hard. His parents take care of Heather and I and always say Hi. So we sat by them and All of the sudden Red Dots start Poppin' up and I grab mom and Get to the ground. 

I wake up to a nightmare of a face name Philippe. Not too happy with me. I found it amusing. But I had to go back to that room with that wheelchair. Ugh! Couldn't get rid of it. So Then Chico starts texting me. He's telling me that he's there for me and such.. I was thinking to myself "You just met me, Why are you if saying this? What?" 

I tell him I'm going to sleep and Hello Sunday!
I'm feeling sore obviously but still all good. I was only going BC 2 of my AWESOME friends were speaking. Katie and Aunt Cindy. So I'm sitting with my mom. I hadn't eaten and that's not good. I'm always scared that when I don't eat I'll become Anorexic or whatever. I had a headache and went into the Mothers lounge and seized. Its not as thrilling as it sounds. So I wake up and just lay there. There wasn't any point of making movement. Then I hear sirens. I sure popped up and such. Mom went out and they passed through. We decided to go home. No point in staying when you have a mingraine. 

Chico is tes\xting me through-out all of this. I know this may sound mean and such but I didn't really want to hear from him. I was tired and he's telling me that He felt this special connection with me and he would love it if we went out.. OMG TOO fast! I'm only 17. I'm Mormon which means I have standards which you don't reach. Finally I told him "I am too young to get serious and settle down. Man are you sure your not a sprinter for the Olympics? You move so fast!" I had help from Heather =]] 

So he backed off.. I know it was mean but he wouldn't get it.. I feel guilty but I'm teaching myself to let things out and not keeping it in.. =] 

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