Sunday, September 28, 2008

Begining of a New Life

So recently, more like a month, I was diagnosed with Epilepsy Seizures. And my goodness it is a workout! You lose all these calories when you tighten up. Surely sore afterwords. Its like going to the gym without the equipment and money, unless the ambulance is involved.

So anyway, when I was diagnosed, I probably didn't realize how bad it was. All I knew was the fact I'll probably doing this on a monthly basis. Boy! Was I wrong. I started to take the medicine and I had one everyday! I truly think that medicine was causing the seizures and My doctor just wanted the money. That's not something that would really happen but you never know.

So I had them more frequently then ever. I started to have headaches all the time and was sore to the bone! I missed seminary all the time due to the fact I had them whenever I was there. I even had one during class! Man, that story is a hoot! Lets just say, there was evacuation for the class, shockers, and sore arms.

I realized that I was slowly having the most boring life that I never had. I was losing my freedom! No school. No seminary. No visiting friends (unless they came or my mom came with). My privileges were slowing disappearing right before my eyes.

But then I thought, why should I wallow over my loses. Its not like I cried everyday, or I would exclude my family because they could be the problem. I would crack jokes when I can. Just because your lonely or no one is even bothering to stop by or call, doesn't mean your life is going down the drain, it just means that... Your social life is going down. Mine sure did.

The only thing that I was having the most problems with was the fact that I was losing my friends. I more was having questions over our friendship. I thought

-"Why are they not visiting me. Not even seeing me when I'm in the hospital. Am I freaking them out just because I can die right in front of them? Is that stopping them because it sure wouldn't stop me. I'd be cracking jokes with them when there's an opening."-

It was a hard time for me. A couple breakdowns. Headaches. No big deal. But now I know that my friends love me. There for me when I need them, unless there in Oklahoma for a wedding, or Maryland because their dad got a job, or even for college, would be there with a phone call or text, either way, their there.

Never give up when you think your life is going down the drain. Just think, I know someone love me. The man upstairs.

1 comment:

Katie said...

Love it! I am so proud of you for listening to such a wise old friend and journaling your experience. You are amazing and I love you more than you know!